Dinner Theater: The Couple Up
INT. BRAVIOS RESTAURANT - CORAL GABLES FLORIDA
Anthony, Jb, Kyle, Lola, Kim and Kyle sit in the dimly lit
restaurant in a back booth near the kitchen. In the middle of
their meal Anthony sees an old lady walk up to a family
sitting at their table and kiss a young girl. The young girl
pulls away as if she does not want to kiss the old lady, but
the old lady continues on anyway.
ANTHONY
Why, why do we force ourselves to
do the kiss hello.
KIM
What's the big deal?
ANTHONY
The big deal is what if I don't
want to kiss the person. Worse yet,
what if it's a stranger I just met.
Do I have to kiss a stranger.
JB
I'd think any chance to kiss a girl
would be a plus for you.
JB looks over at Clara.
JB (CONT'D)
You know what I mean.
Lola punches JB in the arm.
CLARA
I agree with Anthony.
Lola looks surprised.
LOLA
You do?
CLARA
Yeah. I had this uncle, horrible
breath, smelled like you stuck a
pack of cigarettes up your but and
then lit them. He would always
force a kiss. It was on the cheek,
but still.
ANTHONY
No one should ever be forced to
kiss anyone.
KYLE
I hope you remember that when Clara
pushes you away.
Anthony gives Kyle a dirty look.
ANTHONY
Look just because you are now the
odd man out you don't have to be a
dick...er...bigger dick then you
normally are.
KYLE
I'm not the odd man out! I have
been dating a girl for a while now
so eat it bitch!
KIM
Who is she?
Kyle looks away and takes a big drink from his glass.
JB
What she ugly or something?
Lola punches JB in the arm.
JB (CONT'D)
What, she might have a case of the
uglies.
KYLE
She doesn't have a case of the
uglies!
ANTHONY
Then what? You don't shy away from
anything, who is she?
Kyle pauses.
KYLE
I don't want any shit. I like this
one, she isn't going to end up in
the dumpster.
Clara looks puzzled.
CLARA
What's the dumpster?
LOLA
Kyle has this dumpster where he was
dumped by a girl in the sixth
grade. Ever since then he takes
girls he is breaking up with back
to that same dumpster and dumps
them there.
CLARA
Wow.
KIM
Sick as fuck if you as me.
KYLE
No ones asking you. Anyway, this
girl is cool and she is in college.
ANTHONY
Yeah and?
JB
Where did you meet her?
KYLE
Booties.
Lola spits her drink.
ANTHONY
The strip club?
CLARA
I didn't know you could meet women
at a strip club. I mean dateable
women.
JB
Wait, is she a stripper?
Kyle shakes his head.
KYLE
Yes, but she started as a waitress
and then...
LOLA
And then the manager said she had a
great body and should be a dancer.
Kyle stares at Lola with a puzzled look on his face.
KYLE
How the hell did you know that?
LOLA
Megan right? Yeah, I know Megan
well, nice boobs.
Clara stares at Lola.
CLARA
How, what, what?
LOLA
Sometimes I'm stressed after work
so I go to Booties and I met Megan
there.
Anthony looks at JB.
ANTHONY
Do you know this Megan?
JB
No, I don't go to Booties, I go to
Sugar Walls.
Clara puts her head in her hands.
CLARA
I'm in the Twilight Zone.
KYLE
Lola is right, Megan has great
boobs.
ANTHONY
So you have no problem with her
being looked at or touched by tons
of men.
KIM
Yeah, that's just sick.
KYLE
She makes over a grand a night.
KIM
And they're hiring you say?
CLARA
This is all to much.
Anthony puts his arm around Clara.
ANTHONY
You will get used to it.
CLARA
Will I?
ANTHONY
No.
KYLE
Look, she works there three nights
a week. The rest of the time she is
normal just like me.
JB
You're not normal.
KYLE
You know what I mean!
KIM
I bust my ass and it takes a month
to see even part of that cash and
Megan makes it in three days. This
world is not fair.
JB
God gives one woman triple D's and
another A cups, life isn't fair.
Lola grabs JB's balls.
JB (CONT'D)
No baby, no!
CLARA
I have no stories or crazy people
like you guys do. How am I ever
going to fit in here?
LOLA
That's not true, you have the story
about kicking Anthony in the face
when he was going down on you.
Anthony turns pale.
ANTHONY
You told the girls that?
KYLE
So what you told the guys the
story.
Clara smiles.
CLARA
You're right, it doesn't matter.
Just say what you feel.
KIM
I dunno...
CLARA
No, no, you are right. I need to
express myself, be free, tell it
all.
Anthony looks nervous.
ANTHONY
Yeah...no....
CLARA
Anthony was playing Fallout or
something and I was pretty horny,
so I began playing with him.
ANTHONY
Clara no, please dont....
CLARA
So I get him all hot and then, bam,
I pull his head down because he
knows what comes next!
Lola smiles.
KIM
No this is interesting.
Anthony lowers his head.
ANTHONY
Kill me now, Lord.
CLARA
So he is going to town, doing a
great job, just like I taught him.
Everyone at the table stares at Anthony.
LOLA
So it was Anthony you taught!
Kyle and JB laugh. Anthony slumps down in his seat.
KIM
More, more!
CLARA
So there is a problem. We had a big
meal and I felt... well I felt a
bit gassy.
ANTHONY
Why did Irene miss us, why?
CLARA
I didn't want to pull him away
because he was hitting the right
spot. But. I didn't want to blast
him either, I mean, we haven't been
dating that long.
JB
You mean there is a gap between
smelling your girls gas and being
gas free. With Lola, she never gave
a sh-
Lola twists JB's balls.
LOLA
This is her story!
JB
Easy, easy!
KYLE
So you blasted him?
Anthony sits up straight and smiles.
ANTHONY
You know, fuck it.
Anthony looks at Clara.
ANTHONY (CONT'D)
I'll finish the story. She held it
in.
JB and Kyle groan.
JB
Rip, or lack there of.
ANTHONY
No, no. She held it in until I got
creative.
KYLE
Oh shit!
KIM
You, creative, how?
Anthony sighs.
ANTHONY
I tried to pick her up and flip her
onto her back to... you know.
Clara blushes.
ANTHONY (CONT'D)
I made her hit her head on the lamp
and then slammed her to hard onto
the bed.
LOLA
Oh.
ANTHONY
The thing is I slipped as well
during all this and my face landed
right between her legs as she...
CLARA
Fired of a shot.
Everyone at the table laughs.
ANTHONY
It was funny and we still had sex.
Kyle gives Anthony a high five.
KYLE
My man!
CLARA
That felt good to get out.
KIM
The story or the fart?
CLARA
Both.
Everyone laughs.
ANTHONY
This is what life is about. We are
all friends here and we can share
anything.
Anthony looks at Kyle.
ANTHONY (CONT'D)
We want stories about Megan. If she
is the one then we need to know.
Kyle nods.
KYLE
I'll do you one better. We will go
see her, right now at Booties.
Lola smiles.
LOLA
Great, let me get my strip club
clothes on.
KIM
Maybe I can apply for a job.
JB
I need to ice down my balls first.
ANTHONY
Alright then, let's go to a strip
club.
Kyle stands up and yells.
KYLE
Onward Ho's!
TO BE CONTINUED
Alone in the Dark
Life After – By J.A. Laraque
One – By: J.A. Laraque
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